Confinement to a Friend

Tuesday morning it was announced that Chicago Cubs manager Lou Piniella would be hanging it up at the end of this season after four years in the Windy City. Lou is a great man and an even better manager and I'm sure that ESPN and all other sorts of hack writers out there will tell you about the times of the man himself a lot better than I can, therefore I have dedicated this column as to why I can't just do what Lou did—Give up on the Cubs.

Cubs fans are everywhere. You see them in places like Fargo and Ft. Lauderdale wearing blue caps with a red 'C' in the middle. Maybe these are not necessarily true Cubs fans (see Red Sox or Yankees cap owners that happen to find the hat more meaningful when the team is doing well) but the truth is that we come in all shapes, sizes and creeds and we got to be this way in a lot of different ways. All roads leading to the masochistic tales that make people who cheer for decent franchises cringe.

My own personal tale is as interwoven as a Shakespearean tragedy with all of the love and betrayal, but rarely any of the joy and wonderment. My father first introduced me to the Cubs when I was still very young. We'd catch them on WGN on a Saturday afternoon while I was still running around in underoos and spilling juice all over my Pee-Wee Herman t-shirt. He was always more of a smoker than an athlete, but watching the games brought him back to a time when he was young and living on the outskirts of Chicago. He would tell us about his journeys as a factory worker for Brach's and interacting with the sort of people and cultures that one can only find in a city larger than the one I grew up in. Although I didn't quite know what it was yet, he'd also share his stories about smoking pot with Mexican immigrants and African-Americans, a real novelty act for a poor white kid from Eastern Kentucky. I can't say that I've heard my dad speak lovingly of my mother, but mention the city of Chicago and he would light up the room without even saying a word.

Although my father's fondness of a city I had yet to know was part of the reasoning behind me choosing to be such a Cubs fan, the other is WGN, Harey Carey and Steve Stone. For some reason, and I still don't know why, WGN has always been a part of basic cable packages. Yes, I am grateful for that as an adult because of the Cubs, but other than their coverage of Chicago sports, do they have syndicated television that people actually watch? Are people calling their cable company's making sure that they have their WGN so they don't miss re-runs of the Beverly Hillbillies or Becker? Either way, their constant coverage of games always turned me on to a sport that was beloved by me since I was old enough to control my neck. And the booth could not have been better.

I could write this entire article on how great it was being a kid in the late 80's and early 90's watching a semi-sauced Harey Carey and a straight-laced baseball mind like Steve Stone banter for three hours a day. It was unlike anything that Joe Buck and Troy Aikman could dream up and in fact, they would dry up in conversation if they had to watch what those guys did. Harey was always such an easily lovable character and you listened when fumbled through the play-by-play because, like your parents, he'd been there enough to know everything that was going on. Maybe the message was a little different than how you would tell it, but the point remained the same. And Stoney, being one of the first former players to really master the art of a color man, gave everyone insight to the point where you felt like you were in the dugout with the guys without dumbing it down or being condecending (Looking at you, Joe Morgan). His antics and views, which later lead to his exile from the Chicago Cubs, were always concise and direct while sparing fans the banter that is constantly thrown around these days.

And those teams were terrible—And I mean terrible. The early 90's Cubs teams had Sandberg, Dawson, Grace and Dunston, yet somehow never made it to the playoffs or even close. A couple of times I remember Clyde explaining to a very young me that normally you wouldn't pitch with a position player, but since they had used up all their pitching in the past couple of blowouts, it made perfect sense for Doug Dascenzo to come in and pitch the middle innings. Yet still we were glued to the television like we watching them play for the pennant.

It's hard to skim over the next 20 or so years without talking about the disappointment of the mid-00's. With Wood recovered from his injuries, Prior and Zambrano coming into their own and a decent offense behind them, the Cubs were due to be competitive for the next decade. Unfortunately Wood is still constantly injured, Prior may be in the military because I genuinely haven't seen him since 2003 and Carlos Zambrano is legally insane. Really. Combine that with the fact that the face of those teams, Sammy Sosa, is the 3^rd biggest name of the steroid era and you have a recipe that makes you wonder why you put yourself through. Add on to all of that, Jim Hendry who is easily one of the 10 worst general managers in all of sports (including the NBA who has 5 horrible GM's I can think of off the top of my head) and, well, you get the picture.

So here I am, no longer a toddler running from base to base in our small living room pretending to be Mark Grace, yet imagining that at some point during my lifetime the Cubs will bring me the kind of happiness that Yankees fans have felt five times since I've been alive (I always thought—No, I knew—that we would win a championship before the Red Sox. I would have imagined a plane would have fallen from the sky and on to my forehead before they would have won two, but again, Jim Hendry). Every September I scream at the television and dare myself to be a Cubs fan next year, because they just turn you into the dumbest man alive. If a girl cheated on you every year and every time you accepted their apology, took them back and then watched her do it all again, you would be an idiot. But to let the Cubs do this to you is normal and makes me ask the question. How did you do it Lou? Please tell me your secret.

Monday Night Blah-Blah

1. What Did I Just See? - I know that I stated earlier that I thought that the Monday Night game would now show us the best team in the NFL at the end of the week. After watching the Carolina Panthers dismantle the Bucs' defense, it's hard to make the argument that they're not. With Steve Smith as an electric weapon in the passing game, and the running game of DeAngelo and Stewart (170 per in their last five games, 4-1) tells me that they can win in January. I still don't trust this team because of several experience variables, but they're style is a mirror image of the G-Men.

2. A Tale of Two Cities - After watching the first half of both the Jets/49ers & Seahawks/Pats, I got the feeling like this was the week New York would play with the urgency they so direly needed. The end result reassured me that being a Jets fan is a light form of masochism. The Patriots were able to drag themselves out of the funk that was their first half, and the Jets were time warped back to last weekend when they could not put together a drive, nor get the 49ers (Yes, those 49ers) off the field. The showings of the past two weeks not only lead me to believe that the Jets will not win the division, but will lose on the final week of the season to the Dolphins to get removed from the playoffs entirely.

3. With, or Without You - Two weeks after the turmoil universe exploded on Andy Reid, Donovan McNabb and the Eagles, they've rebounded nicely against two playoff bound teams. While the Thursday night win against the Cardinals can be securely contributed to McNabb's performance, he was little reason for their success on Sunday. Not to say that Kevin Kolb could have stepped up and made those plays (especially the 3rd & 5 run to keep their last offensive drive alive), but this team will be hoisted on the oft injured shoulders (or legs) of Brian Westbrook. The shifty back provided an unimaginable spark to the Eagles offense, and while watching the game, I thought that he is the best player that I've ever watched in space. I know that Steve Smith and Reggie Bush are his contemporary counterparts in that department, but I'll take a healthy Brian Westbrook any day.

4. Caged-Bird Song - The Ravens Sunday night victory in the Beltway Battle reiterated two points that I've thought for a while; A.)I hate Willis McGahee. Most of this comes from having him in my fantasy lineup for the majority of this down year, but there is nothing about him that strikes me as a winner. I know, it's cheap. B.)Ed Reed, not Ray Lewis, is the best player to play on the Ravens defense in the past decade. Gather up game footage of the times Reed has missed a tackle, an assignment or did not return a turnover for a touchdown and it will last roughly a minute. He is absolutely that good and is as big of reason as any that the Ravens have the opportunity to sit tied atop the AFC North after Sunday's match up with the Steelers.

5. 8-8 (And Heartbreaks) - The BCS computers will not be the only one's receiving hated looks for doing it's job this January. The AFC West leading Denver Broncos got to the eight-win mark on Sunday against KC, but with the Panthers, Bills and Chargers left to play they could win their division and make the playoffs with the seventh best record in the AFC. Two AFC East teams, Pittsburgh, Baltimore or Indy will be left out of the playoff while the Broncos keep playing into the night. This is certainly not the same uproar as the BCS, but I would hate to try to console a fan of the 9-7 team who is left out watching the (potentially) 8-8 AFC West team in the playoffs.

So we're on to Week 15, and this is the time that I truly get sad over football. It's an unhealthy lifestyle, regardless I already start feeling the longing for next September. So despite my spilled milk syndrome, here is to hoping that we have yet another fantastic week of football and to all those like me, please: Do something productive on Saturday now that college football is done! It's tough but trust me - You're friends miss you.

'What's' for the Weekend?

1. What NFL team will I think is the best after Sunday? - This is one of those rare weeks that this question may not be fully answered until Monday night. I'm not telling you that I think that Carolina or Tampa Bay could be considered as the most elite team in the entire league, but after a week for of questions for the Giants, they're met with a very resurgent Eagles squad. As for other candidates, a possible Super Bowl preview will be taking place as the dominant D of the Steel takes on the potent Cowboys offense. In an offensive showcase I'll take the Cowboys, but I don't think this will be much more than a test of wills. I'll take the Steelers being the best team on Monday morning when the week begins. Sorry Bucs/Panthers.

2. What's going to happen before Monday on the 'Hot Stove'? - My guess for this will always be, nothing. It always seems like the baseball's winter meeting come in to lull you to sleep and then out of nowhere, every big name on the market is residing in a new area code. Not saying their is not the off possibility a middle relief or utility guy could slide between the cracks, but C.C., Manny and all the other big names are not going to waste the market on this weekend. Let them strike while the iron is hot, but unfortunately we've just turned it on.

3. What's going to happen to my Saturday's for the next month? - After this week of championships, we'll be a full two weeks away from our first game of the bowl season. Hopefully the Big XII and SEC Championship Game can give me enough excitement to not worry myself until the GMAC Bowl (or whatever the Hell kicks us off first), because I'm pretty sure that the ACC Championship will (for lack of a better term) leave us wanting more.

Here's to hoping that we all get a little taste of some good action before the work week comes back to sweep us away again.

The Wednesday Hate-List

(Editors' Note: This is a collection of stories or things that I'm completely in hate with at the time, published on Wednesdays.)

1. ACC/Big Ten Challenge - Can we please put to bed the notion that these are equal basketball conferences? I understand that this is actually better competition than most schools are playing right now, but the truth is that the ACC's top 3 or 4 can play competitively with the top 4 teams in the nation in any given year. In the interest of fairness though, if this were football the ACC would be completely dominated, despite the down year in the midwest.

2. The Plaxico Burress situation - This is becoming something that mid-50's women at work are asking me about, so I can't imagine how the Giants are dealing with this media circus that is New York. Something tells me they are a little tougher in their line of questioning.

3. Kentucky Football - An appropriate way to finish off this topsy-turvey season was being humiliated in Knoxville to a Tennessee team that was two days away from announcing a new head coach. Adding injury to the insult, Randall Cobb is now questionable for the bowl game, which I'm now sure will be the (what else?) Music City Bowl. Never thought that I'd be disappointed to see the football Cats play in the MCB, but this season's heartbreaking losses and fluttering embarrassments makes it hard to swallow, especially when the season (and the defense) started out so promising.

4. Commercials During Football - I may not be able to pick the winners of the games, but if Vegas were to ever open up betting for what commercial is coming on next - Watch out! I never thought I'd dread hearing Denis Leary's voice, but after the first quarter I'm naseous hearing him describe yet again how the new F-150 is, 'Not just another truck'. Honestly, find me a guy who cannot sing the 'Five-Dollar Footlong' jingle (complete with hand motions), and I'll show you someone who spends his Sunday's at Home Depot.

5. San Francisco 49ers - Nothing personal, but they play the Jets this week. As I have mentioned before, we play down to the opposing talent as well as any team I've ever watched, so I would not be surprised to see Shawn Hill (or whoever decides to play QB for SF) look like Marino. Their top-notch run defensive scares me to death, because the only reason we were even in the Denver game was the fact that Thomas had 100-yards and two touches before the half. Once again, never thought I'd see the day when I feared for the game to be in Favre's hands.

6. Primetime Football (excluding SNF) - Flex scheduling is something that needs to be negotiated as much as revenue sharing at the next set of league meetings. If you give the teams two weeks to gear up for the time change then their is no reason why I couldn't be watching the best match-up from week-to-week. MNF got lucky this week as the NFC South pits its two best teams on the grandest of stages, but next weeks game showcases the Eagles hosting the Fightin' Dorsey's of Cleveland. And you've really got to feel for the guy at the NFL Network who pushed for Oakland/San Diego.

None The Weis-er

One minute they love you, the next your the villain.

Four off seasons ago, Charlie Weis had just won his forth Super Bowl ring (third as the offensive coordinator in New England) and Notre Dame had lost their seventh straight bowl appearance in a double-digit laugher to Oregon State in the Insight Bowl. Alums voiced that Ty Willingham had to go and when Weis' contract ink dried, the imagination ran wild with the thoughts of a pro offense being orchestrated by the likes of Brady Quinn, Darius Walker and Jeff Samardija. The already monstrous expectations of Notre Dame football had been wed to an already shining star and the marriage was supposed to go harmoniously into the college football honeymoon suite.

And here we are now. The two are still together and the only thing that seems to be growing stronger is the bowl losing streak and the monumental expectations that accompany top 10 recruiting classes. After a solid start in South Bend (which looking back can officially be considered a curse for now ND Athletic Director Jack Swarbrick), the then-administration decided now was the time to lock up their genius for the next decade while the wins poured in. The money has changed hands, nine wins have been accounted for in two seasons and a nation waits for Jimmy Clausen to play within a mile of the bolstered expectations that followed his high school swan-song.

Several fingers continue to be pointed in Weis' direction over the recent futility on offense and the university has seemingly stated,
"We'd love to get rid of you, but it's too expensive right now!" The athletes that have been touted as the best of their class are coming to Notre Dame, only to lose to the likes of Syracuse and be completely embarrassed by supposedly equal talent in USC.

The question that Notre Dame now needs to ask itself is, "How much do we consider ourselves just like every other school in college football?" It cannot be overstated the fact that above all else, Notre Dame places a high standard on academics, regardless of your affiliation with an athletic program. And while FSU stand-out Myron Rolle is the clear exception, most student-athletes look at their majors as nothing more than something Brad Nessler will announce when their names are introduced to the viewing audience. Point blank, no other school outside of the Ivy League asks more of their student-athletes than the hallowed halls of South Bend.

Another part of that question is the need for change that all Division-I football programs seem to have adopted from their NFL counterparts. The idea of being a head coach in college football seems a bit like someone who recently graduated medical school. You are still held to the same regulations and standards that are expected from your senior brethren, but at reduced pay and more intense scrutiny due to the constant questioning of your abilities. Notre Dame is a university that I imagine is above this, however their quick hook of Willingham could lead you to believe that they are actually a product of the Michigan's/Tennessee's out there who hate the idea of a genuinely decent coach who graduates reputable young men, if those young men do not win championships. For the record, all those people who were looking for Weis' head last season as equal footing for Willingham need to look no further than the 0-11 season in Washington to realize that decision needed to be made for the Irish. Willingham is one of the genuinely likable good guys out there so there is no doubt that he'll end up on his feet.

In the end, I, much like the university are at a complete stalemate when it comes with what to do now. Do you choose to accept that Notre Dame is not your typical university when it comes to academics, or do you begin to make questionable recruiting decision by accepting talent who could end up ineligible? Do you completely disregard the good things about Charlie in hopes that someone else could lead this team to more wins? My decision ultimately is that until someone else comes along that you hold to the same high standard you once regarded for Weis himself, you must retain him in hopes that his experience and ability to deal with alums will serve as a funny moment for them all to look back upon. Unfortunately for Weis, that's a luxury even his contract may not afford him.

Monday Night Blah-Blah

1. Carry Me (Out of), Ohio - The Buckeye State has two NFL franchises and amongst them have five victories (and one tie!). The Browns seemingly have a great deal of talent, but it has either decided not to play this season or has been riddled by injuries. The same could be said about the Bengals, but one thing is abundantly clear; New coaches are in order for both because it has obviously gotten out of hand.

2. All For Nothing - The building process that has been taking place over the past three seasons in Jacksonville will apparently start anew yet again. Yet another team plagued by injuries and the shooting that led to the amputation of Richard Collier leg is a variable that no team has a plan to deal with, ever. David Garrard and the passing game is non-existent, Fred Taylor is playing old and all of the sudden their defense is porous. Not saying that this spells the end for Jack Del Rio, but he'll be sweating until the draft.

3. Big Apple, Bigger Egg - The New York Jets squandered a perfect opportunity to solidify themselves as the cream of the AFC's crop. With the complete domination of the Titans in their rear view mirror, they forgot to look up and see that Jay Cutler (And yes, Peyton Hillis) were charging down their throats. It was just another example of why you cannot trust this team in January anymore that you could trust them in September; They play to the level of their competition more than any team you'll ever watch and their 1-3 record vs. the horrendous AFC West is exhibit A.

4. I've Seen This Before - Another draft, another opportunity to colossally fail for the Detroit Lions organization. The firing of Matt Millen means that Michael Crabtree is safe, but it still does not make anyone in a football circle feel any confidence that the Lions are going to make the right pick. Or even who would be the right pick. They've got problems at every position so nobody should be considered a Golden Calf, but they're yet again in that familiar situation where they could easily draft Joey Harrington all over again. Here's to hoping that the Lions actually get someone worthy of a number one selection and I'm just guessing that someone is Matthew Stafford.

5. Good Game, Rook! - Jim Zorn and his Redskins lost to the absolutely dominate New York Giants in a sloppily played game at FedEx, but he was the only blemish of the rookie head coaches in the league on Sunday. A combined 30-18 record has the new faces breathing easy through three quarters of the season with all of them in legitimate playoff opportunities. Sparano seems to have the inside track on Coach of the Year honors and while rightfully so, it's hard to argue against any of the others because of their vast turnarounds (excluding Zorn, whose team did make the playoffs last year, though no discredit).

So we're on to Week 14 and besides wishing a terrific week of football is ahead of us, here's to hoping that the Plaxico Burress thing just goes away. Seriously, I'm done with it already.